Thursday, February 25, 2016

The Oscars, and why you should hate yourself.

I've only had the Television on for ten minutes and already I'm being told what a failure I am. To be honest, I rarely watch network TV, and even rarely in the morning.  For some reason, I ended up turning on some "Morning TV" and first thing I hear is...

I should be dressing up and going to Oscar Parties. That's what the "cool" people do. 

I have never even watched the Oscars (or any award show) all the way through. I've been channel surfing and stopped for ten minutes to watch a certain performance, but... BORING. I am NOT the type to idolize movie stars. They are just people. As my dad would say "They all put their pants on one leg at a time." I think it's shameful that some famous people make millions of dollars to "act" for our entertainment, while there are people truly struggling, working their asses off to feed their family.

A party I can admire (from afar). A fundraiser for Center on Halsted, a lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community center in Chicago. Last year, $65,000 was raised for their many programs and services.

I'm not saying that entertainment isn't important, I love to relax and watch Supernatural or Dr. Who as much as the next Freak. It just bugs me that some "stars" make as much money per episode than teachers make in five years of work. But that's another story, another rant for another day.

Back to my failures...

So, there is a store in Downtown Chicago, where you can "rent" fancy, multi-thousand dollar dresses for a mere $50 to $500 for four days. Awesome! Perfect for those Oscar Parties I've never been to. Because...

You can't wear the same dress twice! 

Oh Sarah Jessica. How you disappoint us by wearing the same dress twice.

God forbid someone sees your picture on Social Media and you are wearing the same dress as in another picture! Or someone recognizes the dress from the last party you were at! Oh the horrors! The shame! The humiliation! Thank god there are websites that focus on this lack of good judgement. Thank god there are places where you can rent thousand dollar dresses for just hundreds of dollars for a few days! 

I should be envious of the starlets and the dresses they wear. I should want to be just like them! 

We should ALL aspire to look like this.
They are perfect. Their hair is perfectly styled. Their makeup is perfectly applied. Their dresses are perfectly hung on their perfectly shaped bodies. All regular women should all aspire to be just like them! And if a "Star" has the gall to show a flaw? If they have a wardrobe malfunction? Wearing the wrong shoes with their dress? Have the wrong hairstyle or earrings or clutch? Some cellulite on their thighs, or laugh lines or thin lips or wrinkles on their forehead?

Oh Jennifer. How could you?

Thank goodness there are "Fashion Police" to show us the errors of their ways! We as a society need to call them out and shame them for their indiscretion. Shame them for offending us with their humanity. Thank god for photoshop and eye bleach! 

Well, that's all the failure I can take for one day. Until lunchtime at least. I do have something more serious to talk about, more but that's for next time. Later Gator.

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